Psychology, Reflections, Short mornings, Stoic advice, Uncategorized

Stoicism, the right way.


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Why do some things affect us more than others? A friend of mine once told me that the things that affect us emotionally the most, are the parts of ourselves that we need to work  the most on ourselves as there is something unresolved within us in that specific area.hydra

Unconsciously we want  and maintain behaviors in real life that consciously we deny or hate. It can be anything, maybe you hate your job, and you know what you have to do to get a better one or to start one yourself, but you don’t. Unconsciously you are looking for something there, maybe protection. Many of the situations in our lives are because of this, fears that we don’t even know are there. I had one of these experiences today as I woke up and I can tell you friend that the unconscious is real, very, very real.

I have used stoicism to make my life better, and it has become better in many ways.

Stoicism makes you a person of grit, but today I had a realization that took my understanding of stoicism a bit deeper.light_in_dark

Stoicism can help you deal with all of  your problems. It helps you transcend them and transendance of oneself and obstacles most be stoicism’s aim.

Because, it can be used incorrectly.

How? Let’s suppose that you are in a situation in your life that you personally don’t like or that you like but that you don’t really know the why of it.

It can be your work, you fill pissed about it, but you don’t do anything to change it. We can make excuses and rationalize that we are too tired to do something else in the day, but, unconsciously, maybe that’s just what we want (feeling protected and not being responsibles for ourselves, just blaming everything but oursleves).

Maybe we just want protection from the world and we take the job and the boss as a father, just changing some figures for others, as long as it fills the role hey.

Maybe it’s something that we like, like, commonly , a romantic relationship, and you love it. Because, consciously we justify it with feelings of “love” but maybe unconsciously we want another figure, some oedipus complex (our mother role), I know it sounds weird but you are looking for the role to be filled, nothing else. Love most come from yourself, if we demand it, we are not really in love, we just want something. 

So, you and me need to figure out what is happening, and make the unconscious, tumblr_neyqf51MMC1qmbg8bo1_500conscious. Face our fears, our inner fears and our core fears so we can transcende them.

Stoicism however can be understood in many forms, think about it, it can be counter beneficial for you, if we use it to justify our actions based on fear, thinking that we are acting courageously (like enduring the job or painful relationship).

When it comes to make the decision to live courageously it means that we are acting from love, form amor fati. Fear and Amor fati are two very different things. If we, however  act from fear deep inside, like not pushing for a better job or not being as great as we can be, we are acting from fear.

If we stoically support our fears and live despicable lives because we do not consciously know what we are doing, we are using stoicism wrong, in fact, it is not stoicism, it is just a justification to keep on the petty behavior.

Stoicism acts from love and courage and most of the time we think that there are challenges outside ourselves, but no. They are never outside, remember what is it that we have control over, ourselves. We must face our inner fears and understand ourselves truly if we want to be truly stoic. We cannot have fear inside and courage outside, that’s just simply not stoicism.

We must have courage to live truly inside and outside. Pay very close attention to yourself, what you are doing in life and ask questions, whether stoicism is a deep core philosophy in yourself or just a facade to hide your inner child.

I wish you all the courage and greatness of a proud warrior friend.

Good morning

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Stoic advice

Are you playing or getting played


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Have you ever had that feeling of suddenly realizing that whatever you are doing, you are doing it in a hurry? Like cooking dinner in a hurry, cleaning the house in a hurry or just about anything. I certainly have experienced it. The word I’m going to use is harsh, but it is what it is, it is simply disgusting.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote in his book The black Swan, something memorable I have not forgotten since. Don’t go trying to catch trains. The story goes likes this: He and his trainfriend were running late and were in a kind of hurry to catch the train, but Nassim’s friend told him not to run, as he never ran to catch any trains. The value of that lesson is that missing a train is painful only if you are running for it, just as not matching the idea of success is only painful if that is what you are seeking.

Stoically, we control what we deem worthy. It’s very difficult to win a game you have not created, you are dependant of external rules, but, what about a game designed by ourselves? This is pure gold if you catch the idea. Being busy is disgusting because we are seeking something outside to give us peace, it can be arriving to the meeting or winning at a game, all these is external and out of our control and as it is that way, we panic when we cannot get what is outside of us. That is the idiots game. Managing life stoically, the rules are set by ourselves, instead of being busy and in a hurry, we can focus being calmed and using that nervousness to be calmed but sharp as an eagle.

The question is not whether something or not happens in the external world, but how do we respond to it. We cannot let our responses become reactions, we are not pinballs. We cropped-tyrant.jpgare designed to respond intelligently and that type of response can only be achieved by practice.

Stoicism is beautiful, correct action in the correct moment, with courage. Stoicism shows us to choose our game, and playing our inner game, playing as best as we can, is just bloody fantastic.

Good night friend.

 

 

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