The Necessity of Doubt

I’ve been using Instagram a lot these last couple of days. A constant, incessant, punishing whip that pushes trash through my unwilling mouth every 10 minutes or so. It’s disgusting.

I woke up rather pessimistic about the internet, there is just too much about everything here. So much information that we cannot simply think, and when we think, we become scared about our thoughts. Doubt, for example, can creep in, and make you wonder about all of your life choices. Doubts about the life you are choosing to live, doubts about your ability to change anything, general doubt about everything.

We hate living in doubt, we would rather have some answers, and Google knows it, in fact, that is his entire business model, to answer our questions. It is marvelous, don’t get me wrong, I love being able to know whether it is better to eat protein or carbs before going to sleep. I also like to know what are the best steps to take when I want to climb a mountain such as Aconcagua in Argentina. It is truly fantastic.

But is also numbing.

We go to our phones and the computer and the incessant entertainment just to be able to step away from our questions without answers. Away from questions that Google and Instagram have no accurate answer to because they can only be answered by you.

What is important to you enough so that you can rise each day believing that you are actually needed in this world?

That is a truly fucking scary question if you don’t have an answer.

Most of us live our lives running away from that question, running away from doubt. But we are oblivious to the fact that it is in that dark corner of our minds that the initiation as adventurers lies. It doesn’t really matter if the answer is not clear enough, no adventure is outlined, and it wouldn’t be one if we knew what was going to happen.

Life is only worth living if it is an adventure.

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

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