Short mornings

Psychology, Short mornings

Individuality and saying NO

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Living within society means living within a set of rules called culture. We have family Witan_hexateuchrules, government rules and  relationship rules. This are collective or personal, think about all the ways your family and your relationships are different but similar to other people. All rules create our understanding of culture. They are extremely subtle but nevertheless they are there and we follow them daily. The problem with these rules is that some help us and some definitely do not. When we are not conscious of them, our individuality is restrained.

What does it mean to be an individual?

I believe we all know deep down o what individuality is. Everytime we feel like our own, everytime we reject stuff in our lives that we don’t really care nor wifh for, the feeling of individuality springs and the joy of being our own emerges. Everytime we have the courage to say no to something internal or external.

This collection of rules is called culture. They are  set by people across time that believed that doing something in a certain kind of way would be convenient for what they were trying to do. It’s good to greet each other or say good morning, it makes our relationships better.

Culture is everywhere and it permeates every corner of human society.

We may think that we are individual acting independently but most of the time we are just doing what people before us thought was good.

Culture is good, culture is great, it gives us a road, it provides us with answers that 3.-Ciseri_L-Esule.jpgpeople before us had to figure out for themselves. The problem of culture arises when we don’t realize that culture is just a supposition of how things should be done . Nothing “should” be how it is but most of the times we fall in the trap that we “need” to do or act in certain ways because “that’s just how it is”.

It’s important to know that culture is constantly changing. We can see it with Rosa Parks  sitting at the front of the bus being a black woman, changing what could and could not be done forever. Culture is manufactured by us, by human beings.

Everyone is searching for happiness, we look for it as best as we can. Every “culture rule” we follow we do it because we think it will benefit us. The problem is that when we don’t know that the rules of the game are not set and static but can be effectively changed and molded.

Individuality and independence is the power to be a culture creator. An individual must know what culture is: a useful social contract on how to behave that can be accepted or not accepted and therefore recreated. This is why an individual has to learn to say no. Saying no, often, is not easy. We feel the urge to obey the government, our families or our partner because we feel safe within this social boundaries but if we do not learn to say no, we will never be true individuals that can actually say or do something that can help make the culture better. We would just become part of the blind masses.

225px-Magritte_TheSonOfManIf culture is manufactured, why not make it ourselves?

Once we realize what culture is we can decide, independently, what benefits us, what benefits others and what is just plainly stupid. Remember, people live within culture because it is a shelter. Being independent means not being afraid to go into the wild and claim new lands for ourselves.

To be truly independent is to know that the way we act must be consciously chosen by ourselves. Our fears, our doubts and everything about us must be consciously analyzed to see if it is helping us or hindering us, this act must be constant. If there is anything inside us that is not pushing us forward, we must let it burn and create something new that sets new standards for living a better life.

You may meet with scorn, but scorn is just fear of the new, fear of the truly independent individual  that is not acted upon but that acts independently and that refreshes culture as a plant must be watered everyday.

That is the importance of learning to say no and becoming an individual.

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Short mornings, Stoic advice

Holding on to slavery


Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man’s power to live long. Seneca

Sun rises, pink and red colors the sky. Great morning.epictetus writting

Epicurus argues that we should leave earth as free from care as we entered it.

Putting it shortly, we should not give a fuck about many things, in fact, no fucks at all.

But what does it mean to be free from care?

Seneca said as well that many men are slaves, but that many more hold fast to slavery. Especially in our times, we can see how everyone is working all the time to fulfill this “dreams”.

Think about yourself for a moment, think about your dream and your purpose? Is it to be a painter? A writer? A business person? Are you really doing it?

I believe the point is better illustrated in this manner:

why do we care so much about achieving money and leisure when we are going to die and in that moment we’ll realize how futile was the constant pursuit of riches?

I know, how is it that we are to live then? In the streets while pursuing our dreams?

I don’t think that not giving a fuck about anything is the correct manner of living and I don’t think that Epicurus meant that when he said we should leave life as careless as when we entered. What I think he meant is that we should not over complicate stuff.

trainWhat does it means to hold fast to slavery?

One time a professor of mine told me, that the moment you catch yourself saying “I have to do this” to put close attention, because in actuality, we don’t have to do anything. I guess this is true, but what happens if our children is sick? I mean we actually must take care of him.

So, we really don’t (actually) have to do anything, we just have to keep that in mind, but then, what is important to us? At least while we are here? Maybe taking care of our children? Maybe becoming a writer? It can be anything really and that is worth pursuing

There are traps in life. The trap of pursuing your parents dreams. The trap of being traditionally “successful” by society standards and many more things that are expected from us. Don’t you think that when we follow this things we are holding on to slavery? For fear of not belonging, of not doing what everybody else is doing? Don’t you think we care to much?

This is what carelessness means. We have to think for ourselves and do what only we know to do best.

David Gilmour loved music and we all know he definitely made his dream reality. But, when he was on his journey to become one of the members of Pink Floyd. One time, he got to the hospital with anemia because he hadn’t eaten anything in days.

It sounds easy to just leave everything and do what you want, but then doubt starts hitting the door. I don’t think that leaving everything is the right decision. But we are smart, so we should ask ourselves, what can we do to be where we want to be and we have to be even more smart to know where is it that we want to be, not anyone else.

This is a life lived nobly, if we live our lives truly, we make way for the others to live truly as well.

I want to end with the thought of completion. What is completion? Completion is thinking that there is going to come a time in our lives where we will be complete. With our house, with our wife, with our job and everything that society tells us is “the way”. hydraBut completion is not nature, incompletion is nature, the fight or the dance, during the time that we are alive, is never over. You care how long you live if you think that there is something that is going to make you complete like the dream you are sold, but you could die today you know? This is why caring to much about being complete does not matter. Being incomplete is enough, we can only live our lives nobly if we embrace this. We can only live if the moment if we embrace the fact that we are never going to be complete, so we should do the best with what we have right now. It’s not the goal what matters, it’s the process and the man that you become while living fully and nobly. This is the opposite of living lives of quiet desperation.

Donation for the cause

A stoic boldly leaps into life, he does not question himself whether to act or not, the decision has already been made, we want to help you become a stoic. Thanks for the support