Life is poetic.
I believe we don’t take that into account very often.
Life is painfully beautiful. One day you wake up with pure joy in your hands, the entire day is the most perfect gift you could ever wish for, in this moments, life flows easily and you feel blessed for it.
There are dark times as well, challenging times, times where emotions like happiness seem just childish. What is needed then, are deeper, darker and stronger emotions. Character arises from our depths.
“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
Mayhem, destruction, hate, jelousy, anger. God forbid you to feel this dark emotions too often but trust me. You are going to feel them.
There is great power in our darkness.
There are situations in life where a “positive attitude” will get you nowhere, force and damage must be done and we must be readily capable of performing.
Know this. You are not a “good” being. You are an infinelty complex entity that is rarely definable by good and bad, it’s just not that easy.
Material for carving
The ancient stoics claimed that everything that happens to us or better said all the externals (our bodies, fortune, our experiences) are material for virtue. We carve ourselves from ourselves.
Everything inside us, is material for carving. Anger is great material for excercise to give an example, envy is great material for work. None of our emotions are to be scorned, they are material for virtue. Use them accordingly.
Once you had passions and called them evil. But now you have onlyyour virtues: they grew out of your passions.You set your highest goal in the heart of those passions: then they became your virtues and joys. And though you were of the race of the hot-tempered, or of the lustful, or of the fanatical, or the vengeful; in the end, all your passions became virtues, and all your devils, angels. Once you had wild dogs in your cellar: but they changed at last into birds and charming singers. Out of your poisons you brewed soothing ointments for yourself; you milked your cow of sorrow — now you drink the sweet milk of her udder. And nothing evil grows out of you any longer, unless it be the evil that grows out of the conflict of your virtues.
Realize this, and you will be powerful. Nothing is to be scorned, Amor Fati, love everything that happens.
I got to a point in my existence
with my head insisting i live to kill
Spilling my ills…I was engulfed to go public and show my life was rubbished. Everything about me obsessed to mess a man’s life up
and leave his family with the knowledge i cut his head off
I preserved me…to decay them
I carved me in my mayhem, a stone cut from the same element.
My mother gave birth to a story that will shame men, this became my importance. every day that came and went
venting mentally my mentality.
I sedated my impatience with drugs and booze.
I stalked and wrote the horror story.
Lies gave me my act as an asset
my ego relaxed in the sociopathic…
Every day i fight with my lack of patience, so i sedate me, making me weak That don’t work.
How can i have my dream to be a nightmare?
I’m not sharp and my body is not prepared…so i cleaned my act.
Trained hard to let the steam off,
cleaned my diet to strengthen my mean heart,
but it cleaned my heart.
Thoughts were feeding my fed up,
love was fixing my head up.
A new story was starting to write itself
I was liking myself
I realized I was not going to just kill him…I was going to kill me Fuck that.
Now I live to shine
relax my spine in the quiet of the divine that gives the sky
To cover my life I live like I don’t want anyone to die.
Vibrant I feel facilitated for no reason other than something loves me to be alive… I oblige
With body heart and mind…
I have found my spirit
my creativity is how I live
my life realizes it.
Read my manifest manifested,
from cursed to blessed…
the hand of the divine
gave me time to rise and rest.
I eat sleep train and move
to be the best version of me my children can get and our love can ensue… blessed…
not hate obsessed.
My life was carved from a stone,
52 years was never too late to begin again.