Concentrate on how you play, and you will fare well

Remember the difference between what you can control and what you can’t control?

The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…

– Epictetus

Externals are sticky, and their stickiness is the cause of you not being able to play well the game of life. What do I mean by this? I’ll give you an example.

Right now, I am anxious and worried about a mistake I made in my mountaineering business. I sold a trip to a mountain that is going to be closed on the day that my clients told me they were able to come to Mexico and do it.

I cannot go back to change my decision, the consequences of that decision are now external, as is the fact that the mountain is going to be closed, as well as the non-refundable bookings that my clients already made. They all are externals right now.

As you can see, I am not happy about it, there’s money on the line, my business reputation, things that matter to me, things that matter so much, that they worry me.

Can you see now how sticky they are? Think about mistakes in your job or in your business, and you’ll realize how sticky externals are.

Now, no matter how much I worry, I will not be able to go back and change the decision I made a week ago, that is gone. I have this monster I have to deal with now.

And that’s the problem, me calling it “monster” right now. Calling it a word little kids use to define something that makes them afraid and to want to run away.

The chief job right now is to separate externals from my “will”, from my “judgment”, which is under my control. I just called this whole thing a monster, but I could also call it my “test”, my “challenge”, or even better, my “game”.

In a ball game, it would be stupid to get mad about other people wanting to take the ball from you, that’s the way the game works. Just so in my situation, it is stupid to think a decision I made in the past should be different, that’s just the game I am playing now. Now, because externals are so sticky, and our perspective on life can be erroneous, it is easy to keep beating ourselves about something that is illogical, which is thinking that things should be different, should they, really?

What I should be doing right now is focusing on playing this game well. I can do a myriad of things like offering another mountain, offering the money back, checking with the park if there’s a chance of getting in just this time.

What do you think is more appreciated on a game, once you drop the ball, by your teammates? To keep playing? Or to stop playing because you can’t bear making a mistake?

You need to keep playing. If you’re in a shitty team, your teammates might get involved in the external game as well, saying things like, “why did you drop the ball you idiot?”, and guess what, that’s external as well, and a drag to all of you playing the game well.

Now, I’ll go back and play my game as well as I can, as you can see, I needed to write this for myself, but the principles are the same and applicable to you.

I’ll go play my game now, see your around.

Ricardo