It was Nature’s intention that there should be no need of great equipment for a good life: every individual can make himself happy. External goods are of trivial importance and without much influence in either direction: prosperity does not elevate the sage and adversity does not depress him. For he has always made the effort to rely as much as possible on himself and to derive all delight from within himself.— Seneca
First, live your life voluntarily
You didn’t choose to be born, but you can choose to live the life you were dealt with.
Courage, one important asset you definitely want to have. When you live courageously, life is easier. It is easier because life is full of problems, and they accumulate. If you live, you have to either face or run from your problems. The thing about problems is that they suck when you don’t want to face them, but they really make you feel awesome when you do face them and overcome them. Life is fun and you feel proud of yourself when you wake up in the morning, take a cold shower, and begin to solve stuff. That’s what ‘living means’.
And I’m not just talking about working, but also about being able to have fun when you’re supposed to have fun. To do what the moment requires of you.
If you would be a good reader, read; if a writer, write. — Epictetus
The problems are there anyway, they are not going to go anywhere. You can live your life either avoiding it or embracing it. Let them come they say.
The thing about living your life voluntarily is that you live it on your own terms, by your own choosing. You have the last say, the last word. You may be in deep shit, but that doesn’t strip you from your ability to say, I choose this deep shit, and I’m going to deal with it, how about that?
The first attitude, live your life voluntarily.
Second, no big deal, I’ve got this
A while ago, when I still had my brewery and my main job was trying to not get drunk every day, I found myself dispatching and selling beer on a massive Beerfest.
My partner and I didn’t expect the Beerfest to hold so many voracious craft beer bearded drinkers. It came to a point where we had a line of about 50 people anxiously waiting to be served and to give us their money, I was thrilled.
I hadn’t eaten anything since morning, I was really tired from carrying barrels up and down the ban. I also need to tell you that if you’d ask me right now the sum of 153 + 67 = ?, I’d likely take out my phone and do the calculation there. Call me lazy bastard, I know almost everyone does the same.
Anyways. Not that day. I was doing every math, as complex as cashier calculations can get, in my head. I was impressed. I was in charge of charging clients. My head transformed into a calculator by necessity.
Your head is capable of doing sooooooooooooo much. You just need the right motivation or the right mindset.
Which is where I’m going.
Many times, we don’t do stuff because we shoot ourselves in the foot with shitty mindsets. I’ve noticed, that the following mindset, particularly, works wonders when doing anything in life.
No big deal, I’ve got this.
Become aware that the one giving over importance to the stuff and the problems in your life are not the things themselves, but yourself.
Do you get me? The things are not important on their own, they are important to you, you’re making them important, super hard, or whatever.
It’s really only judgment, it is a way of perceiving stuff.
And that my friend, you can change to your benefit. When you say, no big deal, I’ve got this, you tap into another part of your brain that will make stuff easier, or at least doable, and at the same time, you’ll own it. It will no longer be above you or impossible.
No big deal.
This means not that you can manage anything that is thrown out to you, you’ll surely fail many times, but what you can actually manage, however, is the attitude you choose towards the things thrown out to you. No big deal will work wonders, trust me.
Third, live abundantly, don’t be scared of rejection
So many problems (in your mind) would be swiftly solved if you could just rid yourself of this fear.
A lot of the power that people or things have over you is simply there because you give it to them.
But it is possible to change this dynamic if you change your script into thinking that maybe you’ll be alright without the stuff or the people that don’t really want or are meant to be in your life.
There are thousands, no, literally millions, of persons and opportunities that you can pay attention to if something does not work out.
This is especially true with us guys and women. Guys, don’t be afraid to be told NO, to be rejected in the most brutal when you declare your love.
Why? Well, first, there are a ton of gals (and guys), and second, because if you get good at this, you’ll realize that what you really need is not what you think you need. What you really need to do is to feel so good in your own skin, that if you’re rejected, you’re still good. You’re neither better nor worse.
This goes for everything in life. Remember the quote in the beginning?
For he has always made the effort to rely as much as possible on himself and to derive all delight from within himself. — Seneca
If you learn how to be OK with rejection, you’ll reserve your power to yourself. You’ll have the last word. You’ll not be giving away your power anymore, because what you want and what you need, you already have, which is yourself, and your self-ownership.
Live your life voluntarily. In your mind, deal with stuff thinking, no big deal, I’ve got this. Live abundantly, don’t be scared of rejection.
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