“Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it.”
I believe we’ve all been guilty of this terrible sin, thinking ourselves to be the proprietors of the truth. By doing this, we are not searching for the truth but trying to state en ego driven dominance. Petty.
Human beings are first emotional and then rational, period. It’s quite illogical, taking this fact into account, to expect your counterpart in a discussion to agree with you at any point, as completely and undeniably rational your point might be, if you do not come from a place of compassion and understanding first.
Generally, in business, to give an example, compassion is thought of to be a weakness. But in reality, compassion is a sign of strength and fortitude. It’s easier to wall yourself up and disagree with every opposing view, but the strong-minded person will take into account that he is not alone in the world and that other points of view must be taken into consideration because he might be wrong, by doing this, he comes closer to an accurate view of reality, and there is no stronger knowledge than what is real, not “want of things to be real” in other words, fantasies.
Emotional correctness takes into account the emotional counterpart and speaks and discuss knowing that the person he is discussing with will open himself rationally if he is taken into account emotionally first.
Practicing emotional correctness is definitely hard and emotionally demanding, for you will have to regulate not only your emotions but the other person as well. Doing this is of paramount importance if you want to actually achieve and gain something from a discussion.
Marcus Aurelius knew this from a long, long time ago.
“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids, or the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Being emotionally correct is one of the most difficult things you’ll encounter within
many discussions. It might be easier to get mad and try to get the other person to understand reason (supposing you are right) but realize this, you are shooting yourself in the foot because neither you nor your counterpart will get anywhere and your time and theirs will be lost.
Next time you are in a discussion try to think as if you were supporting the opposing point of view, put it to the test. In simpler words, get yourself in the other person shoes. Simple, not easy, but painfully necessary.
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