Have you ever had one of those days, maybe a sunday, where “chilling” just doesn’t feels right?
I guess I’m having one of those days today, so I want to make this quick, so I’ll set the timer for 10 minutes and see what comes out of this rewarding act of writing my chaotic head into order, praised order.
Set it for 15, the dark knights soundtrack playing as I write this, it makes this painfully beautiful. As I was scrolling youtube earlier I stumbled upon the exercise of heaven and hell thinking. I really did not wanted to do the exercise because, when I happen to be in that state (a state of unneeded “relaxation”) I think I am in fear mode, not doing what I know I could be doing, everybody knows, what would makes us the happiest, and the most fulfilled, but at least on my side, when I’m in that state, I fear that even though I put myself up to work, I will still be unsuccessful because of just bad luck( stupid justification) But man, what a cheap way of thinking, pitiful.
Thank god for the opportunity to redeem yourself at every moment, the act of repentance is beautiful, it is the start of change, I shall grab it as best I can. Repentance of what? Repentance of not fulfilling your potential, your ideal, the best damn thing you could strive to be. I just got chills thinking that way, and so it is, that writing it saved me from complacency, it always works.
Just before I started to write this, I made the exercise about heaven and hell. The exercise consists of figuring out your personal hell, the absolute worst that could happen in your life, if everything went bad, if nothing went the way you wanted, but also, more than you could imagine bad would happen, what would it be like? Hell itself, I believe the world isn’t strong enough to describe or evoke the emotion of just how absolutely terrible life can be, just hellish and miserable. I encourage you my friend to do that, write it down, it is a superb exercise for setting context.
Then, think about heaven, your personal heaven. What would it be like? What would your life look like if everything was just great, how would your character be? Where would you live? Would you smile more? Everything that can be better, how could you do it? Maybe we could imagine being the person that helps the children that don’t know any better, maybe we could help our father or our mother, emotionally or financially. We could be the light in the darkness. Life could be fantastic, health, honor and the feeling we experience every time we see a movie of war or acts of courage all the time. Tears of joy would fill our hearts everytime we see back and see all the beauty that we managed to create and give to others. Heaven, our own personal heavens achieved.
Those are the two alternatives we are faced with, but hey, we have power over what happens, we may not be able to stop luck from getting us good or bad, but we certainly have a lot of power to do so much good as we can, we make the ultimate sacrifice, we give it all, we fight for our ideal, and for what we think is right, and that is something definitely worth doing.
Socrates, when condemned to dead, had the opportunity to flee if he wanted. They offered him exile or dead, he chose dead. He listened to his inner critic, his daemon which he had been hearing his whole life, and doing just as the inner spirit said and when he was condemned he did just that. One last opportunity to confront what he knew was not right, and he met dead gracefully and ready.
The ultimate fear, dead itself, can be met gracefully and gratefully. The decision remains ours, heaven and hell, in the last instance, is a personal choice composed of many choices, and we choose where to live.
I want to leave with a though in mind, for another ocassion, all these reflection and action, started in hell, now I’m starting to rise, so, there cannot be heaven without hell, just something to think about.